The Tragic Story of Uchiha Sasuke
by Gaara's-pandachan101
Summary: Written by my friend. No flames please. Sasuke bashing, you have been warned. The sequel has come out! Also written by my friend
1. Chapter 1

**This story is an adaption of a story written by my friend. It was originally for my older brother who we hate. Yeah, please review.**

_The tragic story of Uchiha Sasuke_

It all started when Sasuke nearly finished high school. He was happy that he had gotten into Willington's Academy For Fast Food (WAFF) for college. Now prom was nearing by, it was a chance for him to say goodbye to his friends kidding! He doesn't have any!

Sasuke was looking forward to that night. He built enough courage to ask out Haruno Sakura, and to his surprise, she said yes. Feeling better than ever, Sasuke took all of his money from working with McDonalds to buy an Armani suit, a Gucci tie, Coach shoes (if they ever make any), and a Louis Vuitton man purse. He had also rented the best limo he could find, for this was going to be the night he would always remember.

On prom night, Sasuke posed for pictures at his house, bid his parents goodbye and hopped into his fancy limo. When he had gotten to his date's house, the house was empty. There was a note on the door that said:

Dear Sasuke,

This was all a joke, I never liked you, I just needed the money. I'm sorry. Never mind, I'm not sorry. You're a loser and you suck. Screw you.

-Sakura

Tears filled up in Sasuke's eyes, ruining his mascara and concealer he had worked so hard to get perfect. He simply just went back into the limo waiting to arrive at the school.

When Sasuke had gotten there, everybody looked at him with disgust, for he was the only one there dateless. He asked every single girl to dance, but they all rejected him. He had tried to slow dance by himself, but that didn't work out. Slowly treading to the bathroom, he went into a stall and started crying. Fat tears caressing down his cheek plopped onto his Louis Vuitton man purse.

"Well, hoped you liked it. I made it as novely-ish as I could (note the use of words. See how smarticle I am?)" -My friend


	2. Chapter 2

**Well: I have the second edition of the Tragic Story of Uchiha Sasuke! Once again, my friend wrote this about my older brother because she hates him. Yeah so I don't own Sasuke. Here you go!**

Even though Sasuke's prom wasn't the greatest, wait never mind, his prom was the worst thing that ever happened him, he was prepared to go to WAFF with pride, and self-confidence. With his Louis Vuitton man-purse in hand, and all his luggage, he kissed Oro-teme and Kabuto-teme goodbye, bid farewell to his brothers, and Mary was celebrating with her friends. (I hope this day happens!!!!!)

Sasuke entered the grand BWI and went to check in for his flight I think that's what u do first. The person behind the desk was a hot girl, wait that's not what happened. Here's who was really behind the desk: The ugliest guy you will ever see with your own very two eyes. Even uglier than Sasuke. Psyche, nobody's uglier than Sasuke, but you get my point. Sasuke didn't think this way though. His eyes lit up with excitement, and he started drooling at the butt ugly guy, stating "humana, humana, humana." He quickly said to the guy,

"I like you," and gave him a wink.

The guy started getting scared and asked "Are you alright, sir???" Then out of nowhere, Mariah Carey's "All I want for Christmas, is you" started playing and Sasuke sang along to the dude. The guy passed out. Although, whatever you do with the luggage and the ticked was done. Sasuke exclaimed "oops" and went on to the gate to wait for his flight.

As soon as his flight came, he went into the plane, and sat down into his seat. Another butt ugly guy had to sit next to Sasuke. The ugly guy's ugliness immediately turned Sasuke on, and went through his winking-I like you-Mariah Carey phase, and made the poor ugly dude pass out. The flight attendant got really angry at Sasuke, and she decided with the other crew members to lock Sasuke in a closet 4 the 6 hour flight, no meals. (MUHAHA!!!!!!)

Sadly, Sasuke survived the tormenting flight, and went to the front of the airport to get a taxi. It took forever, cuz Sasuke's ugliness made people avoid him. Finally a blind taxi guy came (I don't know if this is possible) and sent Sasuke to WAFF.

As soon as Sasuke got to his dorm, he unpacked and fell asleep from the tiring flight. He slept through for five hours, until he woke up and realized he missed half of a class. He ran as fast as he could, three times around campus (he doesn't have a good sense of direction) until he got to the ridiculously large classroom. Because he was the last one there, he got the bad fryer, broken utensils, and the last seat, where he was behind this huge guy, so he couldn't see.

Sasuke's classes ended, and he was exhausted from making French fries all day. As soon as he got to his dorm room, a couples mean looking guys were in there already, 'cause the stupid, annoying, idiot named Sasuke forgot to lock the door. They had a rope, and lots of duct tape. Sasuke screamed like a little girl he truly is, and ran for his life, but a guy caught him. They tied him up to a chair, and put duct tape over his mouth. Here's their conversation:

Thugs: You're an idiot to leave your door open

Sasuke: mmmmmmm!!!!!

Thugs: Well, I've looked through your stuff, and I really like this Louis Vuitton man-purse you have. I'm gonna steal it and have ultimate world domination!!!!!!! Muhaha!!!!!!!!

Sasuke: he licks the duct tape off NO U CAN'T!!!!!!!!! I HAD ALL MY FEMININE NEEDS IN THERE!!!!!!!!!! MY CONCEALER, MY MASCARA, EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thugs: put tons of duct tape on Sasuke well too bad girly boy.

The thugs then walked out with Sasuke's o so beloved purse. Once again, Tears spilt out of his eyes, knowing that this college experience would be just as bad as his prom night.

**I'll tell my friend what u guys think :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**I laughed when I read this, remember:**

**1. This was written by my friend about my brother, I just put Sasuke's name in it.**

**2. My friend and I don't own Naruto**

**3. This is Sasuke bashing, don't like don't read.**

Here we find ourselves back into Sasuke's experience at WAFF (Willington's academy for fast food) and it's slowly getting better but not that much. So far: he bought a new Louis Vuitton man-purse, but got it stolen again (with ALL of his feminine needs), was doing badly in his classes by not having the ability to deep fry or grill any food, and was still having trouble finding any boys, or friends may I add. This college experience seemed like it wasn't going very well. But there was a reasonable escape from all this extremely funny from our points of view madness. Spring break was coming up and Sasuke had chosen the perfect vacation spot:

South of France. Beautiful beaches, warm sunny weather, and tons of great rock climbing cliffs. So then our young ugly Sasuke packed his bags, and chose a plane ticket on United Airways to travel to his dream spot.

At the airport, there were soooo many ugly guys. Sasuke had to restrain himself. He knew what happened last time, and he wouldn't want to again. But it didn't work, when Sasuke went over to customs, this butt ugly guy was there, and he had the need to go through his wink-I like you-Mariah Carey phase. So he just did and the poor fellow passed out of fear. The security alarm rang, and Sasuke was convicted, being charged and had to give up his third Louis Vuitton man-purse. He barely made his flight. Running through gate 7-C, he attempted to do a flip cause it looks cool in the matrix. But he fell on top of an old lady. Then the old lady started hitting him with her purse, which gave Sasuke marks, marks of pain remembering not to knock down old peoples.

In the plane, he scared all of the crew members with ugliness, and instead of being locked into a closet; he was locked into the storage bins above the seats. There he cried over losing his Louis Vuitton man-purse until the flight was over. The little girl under him didn't know that he was there, so when her mom went to get their carry on bags, Sasuke fell out. Because of his ugliness and well yeah, his ugliness, the little girl thought he was some type of monster and threw a flashlight at his head

With a ginormous bump on his head, Sasuke ran away from the plane, almost got hit by another, and finally made his way to the front of the airport. There he had to get a taxi, but once again, he couldn't get one because he scared the living daylights out of everyone. Sasuke then checked into his four seasons hotel, and fell asleep. The guy who comes in to give you breakfast came in, and saw Sasuke. He went Sacre bleur! And ran away as fast as he could. Then he decided he shouldn't stay in his hotel room all day, so he went to one of those cliff things to climb.

On his way there, he had no way of transportation. So he had to run all the way there, almost getting hit by the Tour de France. Once he was there, he scared off all the other climbers. He didn't really mind cuz he liked to have it by himself.

While he was climbing the big rock, he slipped and fell. As he was nearing his death he thought 'Oh, why should this be happening to me? I have too much to live for! My man-purses, my deviously good looks, and my college experience as a fast food person!!!!!!.' But his prayers were answered. He didn' fall into the Grand Rapids; he fell into a boat of models. But this wasn't right. They didn't pass out they actually liked him. Sasuke looked up and saw them. Since they did like him, he thought that this was at least someone, so girls weren't that bad. There was just seaweed covering his face. As Giselle Bundchen, Heidi Klum, Naomi Cambell, and all the other models in the boat adored him, the seaweed fell off, and mostly all of them passed out. Then quickly some big security guy came and threw Sasuke out of the boat, onto the cliffs. Lucky throw he thought to himself. A few seconds later, he fell into an alligator pit, and once again, this gave him marks, marks of pain not to talk to models or just anybody else with dignity. As he went back to WAFF early, he decided to get anew louis vutton man purse. . . . .

**TO BE CONTINUED!!!!**

**Well, I found it amusing.**


End file.
